s'crap

I thought I might take a moment to bond with some of you over a complaint about incredible, audaciously annoying people. Its times like these when I must question why human beings with similar personality malfunctions are magnetically drawn to me. So TODAY: Its a staff inservice day at Waldorf and I'm on my way to take Isaac to see his OT (for sensory integration therapy) when I decide we have time to stop for a nutritious snack at Jamba Juice. I bring the kids and their food outside to a table, then step inside to grab napkins. As I come out, Xavier informs me that a woman approached them asking where there mother was. I assumed someone was concerned my eight year olds walked their four year old sister through midtown alone to loiter outside of Jamba Juice sipping the strawberry waves with calcium boosts they managed to buy with their allowance. I shrugged it off, and we finished then headed to the car. This is when "said woman" stalks us only to ask me if my kids were in school. Already knowing why she is asking, I tell her that they go to PRIVATE SCHOOL and it is a staff inservice day... then I ask why she asks, and she confirms that she saw them and thought that they were too old to not be in school. I lower my voice to a "WTF" kind of tone and repeat, "Yeeeaaah, their in private school." Of course as I'm leaving I think of a hundred other things I could have said. Things like mind your f'ing business, no we're on our way to the sweat shop to knit your sweaters, or hey you might want to consider possibilities such as private school, home school, illness, doctors appointments, random days off etc. etc. before you assume the parent is negligently denying her children the opportunity to be educated. Crazy bitch.
Seriously though, why do these people always find me?

spread it like cheeze wiz

1. We're hosting una pena cultural on Wednesday Nov. 7. If you've ever dreamt of partying with a Nasa tribe leader from the Colombian rainforest and a bunch of Davis students you should probably come. Its a multi-cultural potluck which will likely involve the reading of poetry, beating of bongos, and dancing of salsa.

2. Isaac and Xavier's birthday is a month away. The party will prob. be Sat November 10th, if we have one. They're not allowed to have anything that has anything whatsoever to do with cartoon or television characters, and they aren't allowed to wear shirts with pictures on them to school. Thats all I wanted to say, please tell whomever would want to know.

gracias,
Natalie

Travelling amongst the Euros

I'm on my trip to Amsterdam and before I've even checked in, funny, Euro experiences are being created all around. So, I thought I would do a series of posts chronicling the amusing things I have seen and heard while traveling. Unfortunately, I will sometimes be the butt of the joke....

1. While standing in a VERY long line at the United ticketing terminal a German man (approximately 25) traveling with his parents decides he must suddenly change his pants. So, he drops his suitcase, opens it up and pulls out a pair of jeans. He then proceeds to take his shorts off (again, we are standing in line at the ticket counter with 100's of other people) and puts on his jeans.

2. When we got on the plane a stewardess asks if I would like a drink. I said that I would like a dirty martini. She simply shook her head 'no' and I changed my answer to bloody mary. After being served a miniature bottle of vodka, a can of bloody mary mix, and a plastic cup with ice, I realized how ridiculous my order was. But really, it's her fault. What she should have asked me was what 2 ingredients would I like with which I may then proceed to mix my own cocktail?

3. Passing through security at Heathrow I am stopped because I am carrying a bottle of water. I was then told that I was only allowed one carry-on. I had a purse and a laptop bag. The security officer then told me that I needed to put my purse into my laptop bag in order to meet the one bag requirement. Okaaaaaaaay..... And then magically, when out of site, I now have two bags again. Hmmmm....by the way does my little plastic zip lock bag with my gels and liquids count as a bag?

4. At Heathrow Airport I endured to most extensive pat down I've ever had. I actually felt like I had been given a massage when all was said and done.

And I've only made it to the airport!

Another Questionable Promo

Walking by the Army recruitment office here in Fremont....see a poster that reads, "If you can read this, you should be talking to us".

Uh, was that supposed to be a pre-qualification test???

stupid. oh, I mean s'stupid.

Inappropriate Promos

What makes someone think it's a good idea to have their kid walk around with a "Bad Boys Bail Bonds" lanyard around their neck? I've seen this more times than I'd like to report...

loves them some dixie cups.

The kids have been playing with dixie cups for three straight days... This is an unfinished replica of New York that Isaac is working on. I have been instructed not to touch it.

First Camping Trip

This past Friday we went on our first family camping trip. Jamie and I have gone camping a few times before, but this is the first time we've gone since we've had Jaden. The trip lasted a grand total of 16 hours. We figured we'd start off slow and see how it went. Right off the bat we set Jaden up for disappointment though because we told him we were going to go to the wild which immediately led him to invision scenes from "Madagascar" involving zebras, rhinos, and wierd little creatures singing songs in forests. He kept saying he wanted to look for the animals and we kept saying they were hiding. Jaden did his part of playing the wierd little creature singing songs in the forest. Unfortunately (for him) The only real animals we did encounter were the racoons that we heard scavenging around our ice chest in the middle of the night.

Some of you may know of Jamie's relationship with wild animals. He tends to view them as targets with human like personalities and regards them with the same ill will and contempt that one might hold for a criminal. You may have heard about the rat that once inhabited our apartment in Sunnyvale. Jamie would stay up night after night poised in the dark with his bb gun waiting for it to rear its head. He'd make menacing threats to this rat, promising to tie it up torture it, and sling insluts about its mother until it would beg for mercy. Or maybe you know that Jamie likes to hunt. Many a Thanksgiving have held the promise of a turkey slain at the hands of the man of the house with merely a bow and arrow.

The racoons were viewed in much the same manner. Every scamper outside of our tent kept Jamie paralyzed as he listed for and sound he could analyze with his keen tracking skills. He utlized every tool at his disposal to scare off the racoon - flashlights, clapping hands, racoon calls, always keeping himself stealthily hidden in the confines of our tent, protecting his young. I tended to take a more amused approach to the invasion - laughing to myself as I heard the racoons opening and rumaging through our ice chest. Jamie, on the other hand, muttered angrily about the "&*$% Racoon footprints all over our brand new ice chest!". The next day we inspected our food, santizing all surfaces that could have been infected by the racoons. While wiping off the outside and then the inside of the ice chest I remarked to Jamie that "at least it doesn't look like they got into any of the food". Although I meant this not as a comment on the racoons' character or ethical makeup, but more of an observation of our lucky circumstance, Jamie retorted, "Yeah, but they would have!".

We later saw a racoon ambling down a path. Jaden was really excited by it, given that it was the first real animal he'd seen during the trip. He surmised that the racoon was tired and was looking for some food. Unlike his dad, Jaden took a friendly but still human like view of the animal. "Racoon, are you hungry? Are you looking for some food? Racoon, where are you going?" Luckily, the racoon hobbled away just as Jamie pulled over and exited our vehicle....