s'crap

I thought I might take a moment to bond with some of you over a complaint about incredible, audaciously annoying people. Its times like these when I must question why human beings with similar personality malfunctions are magnetically drawn to me. So TODAY: Its a staff inservice day at Waldorf and I'm on my way to take Isaac to see his OT (for sensory integration therapy) when I decide we have time to stop for a nutritious snack at Jamba Juice. I bring the kids and their food outside to a table, then step inside to grab napkins. As I come out, Xavier informs me that a woman approached them asking where there mother was. I assumed someone was concerned my eight year olds walked their four year old sister through midtown alone to loiter outside of Jamba Juice sipping the strawberry waves with calcium boosts they managed to buy with their allowance. I shrugged it off, and we finished then headed to the car. This is when "said woman" stalks us only to ask me if my kids were in school. Already knowing why she is asking, I tell her that they go to PRIVATE SCHOOL and it is a staff inservice day... then I ask why she asks, and she confirms that she saw them and thought that they were too old to not be in school. I lower my voice to a "WTF" kind of tone and repeat, "Yeeeaaah, their in private school." Of course as I'm leaving I think of a hundred other things I could have said. Things like mind your f'ing business, no we're on our way to the sweat shop to knit your sweaters, or hey you might want to consider possibilities such as private school, home school, illness, doctors appointments, random days off etc. etc. before you assume the parent is negligently denying her children the opportunity to be educated. Crazy bitch.
Seriously though, why do these people always find me?

spread it like cheeze wiz

1. We're hosting una pena cultural on Wednesday Nov. 7. If you've ever dreamt of partying with a Nasa tribe leader from the Colombian rainforest and a bunch of Davis students you should probably come. Its a multi-cultural potluck which will likely involve the reading of poetry, beating of bongos, and dancing of salsa.

2. Isaac and Xavier's birthday is a month away. The party will prob. be Sat November 10th, if we have one. They're not allowed to have anything that has anything whatsoever to do with cartoon or television characters, and they aren't allowed to wear shirts with pictures on them to school. Thats all I wanted to say, please tell whomever would want to know.

gracias,
Natalie

Travelling amongst the Euros

I'm on my trip to Amsterdam and before I've even checked in, funny, Euro experiences are being created all around. So, I thought I would do a series of posts chronicling the amusing things I have seen and heard while traveling. Unfortunately, I will sometimes be the butt of the joke....

1. While standing in a VERY long line at the United ticketing terminal a German man (approximately 25) traveling with his parents decides he must suddenly change his pants. So, he drops his suitcase, opens it up and pulls out a pair of jeans. He then proceeds to take his shorts off (again, we are standing in line at the ticket counter with 100's of other people) and puts on his jeans.

2. When we got on the plane a stewardess asks if I would like a drink. I said that I would like a dirty martini. She simply shook her head 'no' and I changed my answer to bloody mary. After being served a miniature bottle of vodka, a can of bloody mary mix, and a plastic cup with ice, I realized how ridiculous my order was. But really, it's her fault. What she should have asked me was what 2 ingredients would I like with which I may then proceed to mix my own cocktail?

3. Passing through security at Heathrow I am stopped because I am carrying a bottle of water. I was then told that I was only allowed one carry-on. I had a purse and a laptop bag. The security officer then told me that I needed to put my purse into my laptop bag in order to meet the one bag requirement. Okaaaaaaaay..... And then magically, when out of site, I now have two bags again. Hmmmm....by the way does my little plastic zip lock bag with my gels and liquids count as a bag?

4. At Heathrow Airport I endured to most extensive pat down I've ever had. I actually felt like I had been given a massage when all was said and done.

And I've only made it to the airport!

Another Questionable Promo

Walking by the Army recruitment office here in Fremont....see a poster that reads, "If you can read this, you should be talking to us".

Uh, was that supposed to be a pre-qualification test???

stupid. oh, I mean s'stupid.

Inappropriate Promos

What makes someone think it's a good idea to have their kid walk around with a "Bad Boys Bail Bonds" lanyard around their neck? I've seen this more times than I'd like to report...

loves them some dixie cups.

The kids have been playing with dixie cups for three straight days... This is an unfinished replica of New York that Isaac is working on. I have been instructed not to touch it.

First Camping Trip

This past Friday we went on our first family camping trip. Jamie and I have gone camping a few times before, but this is the first time we've gone since we've had Jaden. The trip lasted a grand total of 16 hours. We figured we'd start off slow and see how it went. Right off the bat we set Jaden up for disappointment though because we told him we were going to go to the wild which immediately led him to invision scenes from "Madagascar" involving zebras, rhinos, and wierd little creatures singing songs in forests. He kept saying he wanted to look for the animals and we kept saying they were hiding. Jaden did his part of playing the wierd little creature singing songs in the forest. Unfortunately (for him) The only real animals we did encounter were the racoons that we heard scavenging around our ice chest in the middle of the night.

Some of you may know of Jamie's relationship with wild animals. He tends to view them as targets with human like personalities and regards them with the same ill will and contempt that one might hold for a criminal. You may have heard about the rat that once inhabited our apartment in Sunnyvale. Jamie would stay up night after night poised in the dark with his bb gun waiting for it to rear its head. He'd make menacing threats to this rat, promising to tie it up torture it, and sling insluts about its mother until it would beg for mercy. Or maybe you know that Jamie likes to hunt. Many a Thanksgiving have held the promise of a turkey slain at the hands of the man of the house with merely a bow and arrow.

The racoons were viewed in much the same manner. Every scamper outside of our tent kept Jamie paralyzed as he listed for and sound he could analyze with his keen tracking skills. He utlized every tool at his disposal to scare off the racoon - flashlights, clapping hands, racoon calls, always keeping himself stealthily hidden in the confines of our tent, protecting his young. I tended to take a more amused approach to the invasion - laughing to myself as I heard the racoons opening and rumaging through our ice chest. Jamie, on the other hand, muttered angrily about the "&*$% Racoon footprints all over our brand new ice chest!". The next day we inspected our food, santizing all surfaces that could have been infected by the racoons. While wiping off the outside and then the inside of the ice chest I remarked to Jamie that "at least it doesn't look like they got into any of the food". Although I meant this not as a comment on the racoons' character or ethical makeup, but more of an observation of our lucky circumstance, Jamie retorted, "Yeah, but they would have!".

We later saw a racoon ambling down a path. Jaden was really excited by it, given that it was the first real animal he'd seen during the trip. He surmised that the racoon was tired and was looking for some food. Unlike his dad, Jaden took a friendly but still human like view of the animal. "Racoon, are you hungry? Are you looking for some food? Racoon, where are you going?" Luckily, the racoon hobbled away just as Jamie pulled over and exited our vehicle....

Good Thoughts for Isaac

Most of ya'll probably know, but Isaac's having surgery tomorrow to remove a cholesteatoma (cholesteawhat!) from his left ear...it's a serious surgery, but Dr. Suh assures me it's straightforward and all will be well. In any case, keep him in your thoughts. This is Isaac's fourth surgery, so he's a veteran...but I know it's still going to be hell for Natalie and I in the morning when he's scared and when he wakes up from the anesthesia and is feeling like Ken when he sense "the cancer" coming back. So maybe think good thoughts for us, cause we'll need it more than Isaac. Been there, done that.

Three cheers for Isaac.

Pirates

As some of you have heard, Jaden has been on a pirate kick lately. A recent experience involved him, a woman at the grocery store with an eye patch, and an innocent comment delivered with pure joy and excitement that went something like...."YOU A PIRATE!".
While we were doing the bedtime thing yesterday, Jaden said that he wanted to hunt for pirate treasure. New to this game, I asked him where we were going to get pirate treasure. Matter of factly, he informed me that we would get it at the Pirate Treasure Store.
This morning Jaden began practicing his introductions (I'm Jaden with a peg leg or I'm Jaden with a hook for a hand or I'm Jaden with a wooden ear) never failing to end his pronouncements with a hearty "Arrrr!". After he'd finally mastered this excercise he turned to me and asked "How do you say Arrrr in Spanish?".
I'm stumped......any ideas?

Fires are for Holidays

One of the funny and frustrating aspects of being a parent are the conversations that transpire with your children. They are usually completely blunt, need some time to learn new concepts and ask questions. And more questions. And more questions. Yes, I know - of all people, I deserve this. But still. Take the following conversation between Isaac and I that took place at the hospital last week after he pointed at a fire alarm and asked, "What's that?"

Me: What does it say?
Isaac: Fire.
Me: Right.
Isaac: So if a fire is starting, it lights up?
Me: Yes.
Isaac: And then everyone leaves?
Me: Yes.
Isaac: Fires happen on Mother's Day and Father's Day and weekends and holidays?
Me: (stifling a laugh) Well, fires can happen on any day, but yes, on those days, too.
Isaac: Fires happen once a week?
Me: (really trying to hold back now) Fires could happen everyday - not just once a week.
Isaac: Fires happen in Elk Grove and Sacramento?
Me: (not trying to hold back - laughing out loud) Fires can happen anywhere, Isaac. But yes, they happen in Elk Grove and Sacramento.

These are important questions, folks. Good thing I have Isaac around to make me think about them.

In Praise of Vu

I had to post this email from Vu today...his emails crack me up . This one made me laugh out loud...multiple times. In reference to Tim Duncan's lack of consumer appeal, Vu said:

Timmy D should grow a beard and slap some bitches around. He should just have a major personality change, like when Hulk Hogan morphed into Hollywood Hogan overnight. That one really caught me by surprise.

Awesome.

Riddle me this..

Once when I was in high school, my Dad, wise indeed, told me that "Eight's are a nebulous thing."

Discuss.

Three Items worth discussing.

1. So the boys completed their three day visit at Davis Waldorf, and their teachers said they would like them to join the class permanently.

2. In relation to that, I am officially starting a nonprofit organization to fund "hippie children who can't afford waldorf, because their parents are hippies." Isaac and Xavier are the first benefactors.

3. I see Jeff and I are blogging at a 6:1 ratio in relation to the rest of you. S'crap.
.

How Toothpaste Leads to Vomit

First, take one stubborn and dramatic little girl, i.e. Mila Jordan Speer. Then, take an equally stubborn and unrelenting father, i.e. Jeffrey Thomas Speer. Finally, mix in Power Rangers toothpaste, instead of the normal Winnie the Pooh tootherpaste, and BANG - you've got a winner.

One morning last week Mila, in a not-so-rare a.m. fit, was traumatized by the Power Rangers toothpaste - saying it hurt her mouth and was yucky. Having been through this before over the color of her socks or the way I brushed her hair, I knew I just had to ride it out. So I calmly told her to go downstairs and put her shoes on...and she did, crying like a banshee the entire time...after a time she began calling for me. When I finally arrived on the scene, she said she threw up. And indeed she did. A little regurgitated oatmeal puddle just for me.

And this is obviously a family thing because tonight Xavier threw up after trying to force down a very small apple slice he had no desire to eat. S'vomit.

Mad Props to 2pac

I've said it before and I'll say it again... I fucking love cultural anthropology. Why? you may ask, further: what is cultural anthropology anyway? That is for another blog, but right now I'm just basking in the glory of my A paper:
"Sufism and Esoteric Gangsta Rap"

In it, I compare South Asian religious leaders to Tupac Shakur. It's five pages so I won't post it, but if you want a copy tell me and I'll email it to you. If you learn nothing from it, it is at least notable for the fact that I got to use the words, gangsta and thug in complete seriousness, as well as quote "Me Against the World."

Don't ask what I'll do with my major later.

"love your hood, but recognize its all good."
peace.

The Day Beer Kicked My Ass

So yesterday I homebrewed. By myself, I should add (ahem). And you know what? It sucked. I started at around noon and didn't finish until 9pm. 9PM!!!! That's like twice as long as my normal work day. Granted there's a lot of hurry-up and wait when you homebrew, but still.

Just for the record, lifting a keg with 5 gallons of boiling hot beer in it is not fun, not even close. Neither is trying to lift a keg with 5 gallons of beer out of the bathtub (I think I need a backiotomy).

So next time I brew beer, Jeff Speer (that's right. I called you out), you will be there. Mother's day is for sissies. Yesterday was s'crap.

Dream Job

From "The Week" magazine:

Good Week For
Drinking on the job, after a Brazilian brewery was ordered to pay $49,000 to a former beer taster who claims his job turned him into an alcoholic. The unnamed man says he was required to drink up to 25 small glasses of beer per eight-hour shift.

Enjoyment

I saw Bright Eyes for the third time last Friday, but in a whole new environment and with a different point of view. The Cultural Anthropology perspective. Since I am now the proud owner of a cultural anthropological analytical mind frame, I see more deeply into the embodiment, space and performance of the culture. The culture herein can be described as post emo progressive folk rock. This movement is small, but promises growth.

Performers like Bright Eyes adapted this "back to my roots" genre around the time the war in Iraq (II) started. I find this significant in that it mirrors the Bob Dylan essence of political commentary through a style that is hard to be at odds with. Folk music is like a children’s book: simple, frank and idealistic. Although lyric analysts like myself will see through the upbeat melody and hear the complaints of the angry youth, it can just as easily be pleasant background music that makes you want to kick back, barefoot on your porch with cold home brew in your hand.

But back to the cultural anthropological analysis. Notice the silk flower, church like setting and the band wearing all white. It conjures up images of the trinity broadcast network evangelists, "drunk in the spirit" in all of their god given purity and wisdom. The embodiment of modern day Protestants is mimicry of the Christian right and their self-proclaimed "rightness."
The people responsible for Bush's election and those who continue to support him.

So to break it down:
Embodiment: Purity, Righteousness
SPACE: CHURCH, a place to connect to the deity, obtain wisdom and spiritual enhancement.
PERFORMANCE: A counter culture of sorts that mimics Christianity, harnessing their "messenger from God"-like authoritative presence while lyrically stating a directly opposite political position.

This is nothing new. It also reminds me of the gospel rockers like Elvis and Ray Charles, which are actually quite successfully conjured in Jenny Lewis' solo album, Rabbit Fur Coat, but unlike Bright Eyes, the political commentary is more subtle, and hidden underneath her lyrics about inner conflict and a tarnished childhood.

So anyways, I had fun in Berkeley and I maintain my dedication to seeing Bright Eyes every single time he's within driving distance. Go ahead, give me shit for loving the epitome of emo, but I swear he's progressed.

The above video is not the best example of his political commentary or protestant mimicry, but it is the best video on you tube from that night and displays the livelier, and more sober Conor Oberst.

Oh, I almost forgot: There is also a bit of psychodelic Beatles/Doors inspiration in the the show. Its hard to ignore the random colors flashing on the screen behind him thanks to his friend in a cowboy hat playing with objects and paints on what equates to a ginormous overhead projector. Rock/PsycodelicArt/Vietnam. S'counter culture reincarnated.

Don't be shy

You can blog, not just comment. This is a community blog and everyone who I've invited has the power (yes, power) to write anything you want - not just comment on my blogs. That would be boring. or, s'boring.

Que es s'good?

s'good = it's good.

It's for lazy folk, like myself...even though I'm not the originator of the term (um, Dackie). This blog is a long time coming. We talk on the phone and email, but not frequently enough. So update us with images and words on all things s'good in your life...or, if need be, all things s'crap. And subscribe so you know when something new comes up.

I beg of you (and you all know how persistent I can be) to post something, anything, once in a while. Cause it can't just live with me.